Post #7: A Photo History

Photo Essay- The 54th MA Infantry Regiment: Courage and Sacrifice

Comments

[Asma Z. /Group 9]

Colleen, this photo essay was very nicely done. One of the things I liked about your photo essay was that your captions pertained very nicely with the pictures. You explained them and especially your first one, where you explained the right side then the left then the middle. That showed that you put some real time into analyzing the picture and trying to determine its meaning. Though your photo album was done quite nicely there were certain things you could do to make it better. First off, your slides start off really nicely, they start to tell about certain men in the regiment but then around slide five you jump into a battle. Though I understand the transition, you should make it more in a way where you transition into it more smoothly. It seemed like it was a whole new topic and it kind of came out of no where. Secondly, your last slide, you don’t really have a conclusion. You sort of just end it there as well. You started it off with out a good transition from the previous slide and then you just end it, with out any ending; it just ends. If you add a nice concluding sentence or a couple of concluding sentences to the last slides it will come together really nicely. Lastly, I found a couple of grammatical errors in the photo essay. Things where words were repeated twice or the wrong word was put in where the sentence sounded weird, just make sure you proofread before submitting. Overall good job!

[Ashley Cox]

Hey Colleen,

Very nice work on the photo albulm blog! It was hard work for all of us, and I think you did a great job of it. It was difficult to find some differing problems aside from what Asma stated above; however, I found a few.
One of the things I noticed was in the paragraph for your third picture. There is a quotation mark at the beginning of the paragraph that shouldn't be there and may mislead people to include 'Douglass said' within the quote you are actually using. Not a big mistake, but a noticeable one.
Another thing, your captions give great detail and explanation of the graphhics above, but the caption under the image of Shaw seemed rather pointless to me. I understand he was a leader of the regiment, but I would have loved some more 'meat' about him! You left me wanting for more, which in some cases may be good because I can go out and research him on my own; however, I want to hear it from you!
Finally, I think some of your sentences were mighty short (this may just seem so to me though because I have a tendency to elongate my own). Sometimes, elaborating in the same sentence isn't so hard or wrong to do!
And just a positive note, I really loved the once color photo in your albulm! I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but it really made that photo and the importance of that photo stand out. Nice touch!